BLIND DATE: Not your average Blind Date, but the kind where you“ Date Blind” In my research as well as from stories of personal friends, I find that far too often some people (both men & women) date blind although there are plenty of warning signs throughout their relationship even as far back as the first date. Here are a few examples of how it goes in many situations:
LADIES: How often have you met a nice guy started dating and assumed he was Mr. Right because he met all of the “requirements” that you made for a potential mate, to soon find out that he was Mr. Wrong. The blame is usually placed on him and then “All men are dogs”…”there are no good men left” however as women we must take ownership of what we allow to take place in our lives when it comes to relationships. Warning signs can include, being caught in “little white lies”, standing you up, hiding the cell phone, having children but not being a “father” by choice to the child/ren he has, not caring about your well-being, just to name a few. It could be insecurities, loneliness, etc. but entering into a relationship with this type of individual can almost guarantee an unhappy ending. If this type of man is allowed into your space you can no longer blame him when/if the relationship goes sour because he showed you exactly who he was. The blame game goes out the window when you volunteer to become a victim.
MEN: How often have you let sexual desire control your thinking? You saw a woman that you were interested in, you had to have her, you did and developed a relationship based on the “representative” that she showed you early on. She showed you the type of respect she had for herself from the beginning just by your conversations, by how she takes care of her child/ren, sexual promiscuity, etc. yet those warning signs went ignored. Then when she is not the person she claimed to be you blame her and take it out on other women. Then the cycle of hopping from woman to woman begins, leaving a trail of bitterness and broken hearted women behind. We must start to take full responsibility for the parts we play in dating and relationships. No one has all the answers yet most place blame all the blame on the other. Let’s start to figure out what it is that we, ourselves, are doing to attract and contribute to these types of situations and only until then will be able to eliminate the “Blind Dates” that we voluntarily set up for ourselves.
Tina King, Certified Relationship Coach Complete Chocolate Couples, Inc.